Maybe All I Need is Makeup?

August 24, 2008 · 18 comments

As I am sure any of my readers who are blog owners can understand, I get a lot of spam. I have various methods to minimize it, but some still gets in. Sometimes I keep the comment but remove the link, but usually if it didn’t get caught before I saw it, it gets deleted shortly after.

I recently approved this comment that I believe to be spam, but I suppose could be an honest endorsement:

I saw these products by a company called It Cosmetics on the Today Show so I thought I would try them. I TOTALLY look like I’ve lost 15 lbs instantly and I feel like I’m finally able to get that “in-shape” look I’ve been working so hard for in the gym. Just thought I’d share this GREAT find!!! Here are some before and afters from their website. All that changes is the makeup.

The reason I say it is spam is the comment writer included the url twice in the comment. Could be a real commenter, but probably someone working for the company. But who knows. So why did I let it through?

Because I am absolutely fascinated by their products! It’s like the car crash you can’t help but slow down and look at. Check out some of their products:

Abs in a Box for Men Kit
Whether you want the appearance of muscle definition, a six-pack, or simple body shading for a slimmer, more fit look ABS IN A BOX will sculpt your abs to their sexiest.

My Beautiful Breasts Kit
Whether you want the appearance of an instant breast lift, the illusion of larger or smaller breasts or simple body shading for enhanced sexy cleavage MY BEAUTIFUL BREASTS will sculpt your bosom to its’ sexiest.

Smokin’ Hot Legs Kit
Whether you want sexy defined legs, less-visible cellulite or the illusion of a firmer, tighter backside, SMOKIN’ HOT LEGS will sculpt your lower body to its sexiest!

By all appearances this is a legitimate company, selling legitimate products. Here is how they describe themselves on their About page:

It Cosmetics™ gives you the power to look magazine cover gorgeous the way celebrities do by bringing you the products and tricks of the trade never before revealed! The It Cosmetics™ Library of Secrets™ is now your personal library of secrets! The playing field is finally equal!

Want a breast lift, how about six-pack abs, larger or smaller breasts, larger lips and a whiter smile, an eye lift, or what about toned calf muscles? You can get the appearance of any or all of them by using the It Cosmetics™ Library of Secrets™ collection!

Yes, this is simple makeup folks. Forget years of exercising (and probably genetics) to get that six-pack stomach, all you need is a little makeup! Wow.

Folks, trust me when I tell you that putting ab lines on my big belly isn’t going to work!

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MizFit August 24, 2008 at 5:47 pm

does it mean Im really a MAN that I more want the absin a box than the pretty tatas?


Kris August 24, 2008 at 7:03 pm

Hey John, Thanks for visiting my site.

This post is hilarious!

I’m happy to learn your technique of deleting links to spam comments. I get a fair share of spam too.

I’m going to try your method now.

And, now about those ab-line makeup highlights….

Andrew is getting fit August 25, 2008 at 1:31 pm

Excuse me while I go paint on my abs…

Annette August 25, 2008 at 3:38 pm

funny, funny!

Metroknow August 26, 2008 at 6:30 pm

I think you just discovered the fountain of youth for Drag Queens everywhere…….!

john - from fat to fit August 26, 2008 at 9:11 pm

Seems like the painted on abs are the most popular product here!

Diana the Scale Junkie August 27, 2008 at 9:30 am

good news! I can afford to buy all of these products because not only have I just won the South African Lottery, I’ve inherited a million dollars from a long lost and previously unknown South African relative and apparently I’m the sole heir…drinks are on me, cheers!

But spam? No I never get spam :-)

Will @ 4XLT August 27, 2008 at 12:50 pm

Holy cow, how do I get me some of those?? Now people will think I’ve got GIANT MUSCULAR ABS! Sweet!

The comment does come off rather spammy, though.

I hate CAPTCHA, but the simple math equations I’ve seen (ala 2+2= _____ ) seem quick and easy without the hassle of trying to read the twisted words captcha provides.

Now, if I can just find a WordPress plugin for that…

Chubby Chick August 28, 2008 at 8:49 am

Trust me… there’s not enough makeup in the world to make me look thin. lol

Thanks for the comment today. Your breakfast idea sounded fabulous. I like eggs in the morning, too. :)

Pattie August 28, 2008 at 9:14 am

I’m having visions of perky breasts painted ontop of my 50-something ones… wouldn’t four breasts appear a little confusing?? ;-)

Thanks for the giggle!

Lyn August 28, 2008 at 11:42 pm

Okay, so I think I will email this company and ask them to mail me the smokin hot legs kit. In return I will give them FREE advertising… I will paint up my treetrunk, obese, sagging legs with the knee-fat oozing down, and I will post the pictures on my website with a link to their site. Maybe that will get them the traffic they want! Hey I will do the ab painting kit too.. but it will look more like a sea turtle crawled onto my skin and is suctioned onto my belly.

Sally Parrott Ashbrook August 31, 2008 at 12:52 pm

Those products are HYSTERICAL.

Losing Weight and Getting Healthy August 31, 2008 at 1:08 pm

What is scary is that people actually buy these products and think that they will work…..

Carol Bardelli August 31, 2008 at 3:37 pm

Hey John, I saw that on tv and couldn’t believe it. There are also infomercials for body suit under garments that suck everything in. The women lose like 4-5 inches on their hips and stomachs. Can you imagine being the guy who gets her home and unwraps her to find hidden rolls? Talk about false advertising. Seems people miss the point. They aren’t seeking to be healthy, just trying to look the part.

asithi September 2, 2008 at 12:27 pm

I wonder how many celebrities actually use these “kits” before a photo shot or music video. That would explain why they look so different in “real” life without the makeup.

I heard that the male corset is starting to become popular again. I wonder if we will be seeing spam advertising them sometimes soon. :D

Trish September 2, 2008 at 2:04 pm

LOL, I would need a lot of makeup…

I approve all comments of those who have not had an approved comment. That is how I catch the spam. I would include that comment as spam.

JenRenee September 9, 2008 at 9:21 pm

OMG that is hilarious!!!

Leo (Healthy Tips For A Healthy Lifestyle) September 14, 2008 at 4:32 am

Haha, that’s hilarious!
I’d choose the Abs in a box!! ; )

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