Confession Time

August 20, 2007 · 7 comments

In yesterday’s weekly update I told you I gained 2 pounds.  And I did.  That isn’t why I’m here confessing.

I’m here confessing because I almost didn’t report the truth.  I felt bad about eating and drinking too much on Saturday and I was really disappointed when I stepped on the scale on Sunday morning, despite what I wrote in my poker analogy about not being results oriented.  I just installed a graph of my weight in my sidebar and now it was going to be going up instead of down.  I just entered a weight loss contest and now my weight was going the wrong way.

All of this was on my mind as I looked at the numbers on my scale, 293 pounds (up from 291 last week).  My first thought was that I could report at 291 which would at least not show a gain, then I would work extra hard this week to make sure I had a loss next week.  Then I thought, well maybe I’ll say I gained 1 pound, that’s better than 2, right?

Then I remembered the words that show on every page on this blog:

John is in fact, fat. I am hoping that by being honest with myself, and with you, that I can finally get on the road from fat to fit.

“Honest with myself, and with you…” - the importance of those words took hold and I resolved that I would report my weight gain, no matter how much I thought it would disappoint people or look bad.

I’m confessing because it’s important that I remain honest.  It concerns me that I came close to not being honest, so early on in my journey from fat to fit.  I’ll continue to make mistakes and Lord knows there will be weeks when my weight goes up again.  But no matter what happens I’ll continue to be honest with myself and with you.

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JanB August 20, 2007 at 7:37 am

You know, you have reached such an important point in your journey. The realization that being honest with yourself about your weight and your food intake is more important than even what you eat. I journal everything and sometimes it is hard to write down what I eat if I am eating wrong. But I force myself to do it. I even had to buy a food scale because I have a tendency to underestimate portions. I have to force myself to look my food intake right in the eye. If I start to hedge, I know that I am the one who will not fit into my underwear. I am the one who has to look at the scale every day.

Your weight loss journey won’t be a graph which goes steadily downhill. It will be up and down as your body changes and adjusts. But that’s ok. Just keep with it and keep eating right and exercising and eventually every up will go down. I guarantee it.

Thanks for being so open. It is encouraging to me.

JanB August 20, 2007 at 7:39 am

By the way, I just got to be your first subscriber. I will be reading, take care and be strong.

Michelle August 20, 2007 at 8:24 pm

Honesty is essential, and I have such a hard time being honest with myself…

poundslayer August 20, 2007 at 9:39 pm

John I totally relate. Accountability is the reason we are blogging right? Well, one of the reasons anyway. By making a commitment to be honest on here you are establishing and protecting an incredible support network that will be there for you down the road.

I for one admire your honesty!

john August 20, 2007 at 10:12 pm

Jan - thanks for the great reminders. I knew going into this I would have weeks where I gained weight - I just wasn’t prepared for it being so soon. I am really glad that my being open can encourage others.

Michelle - It’s hard isn’t it? I wrote a follow-up to this post on where I explore the need for honesty a little more.

Poundslayer - I don’t think I am deserving of your admiration yet, but I’m going to work hard to gain it from you and everyone else. At this point I’m just talking the talk.

GeorgieGirl August 21, 2007 at 2:29 am

I’m glad you posted your weight gain… it helps us see that we aren’t alone in our journey to lose weight. My wish for you and my fellow fatbloggers, is that we would always see a drop in weight, but we know that isn’t going to happen every week. I’m so happy you were honest… for your own self approval.

JFarrlley August 21, 2007 at 8:21 am

Hey John…finally got around to checking out your site…pretty awesome…

I’m going to add you to my “guys” blog roll today…sorry about it taking so long, but I have a hard enough time these days even posting once a day…

Don’t worry about the weight gain…as long as you do the right thing 90% of the time, the 10% wrong will be just a blip on the radar…

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